Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Interviews, my Homocidal Sister, and Too Much Acid.

I have a phone interview tomorrow.  I'm so nervous.  I've never had a job interview on the phone before.  It's for a night job at a group home, but that's okay.  I'm awake most nights anyway. 

I've been feeling a little sad lately.  Missing friends and other people I care about.  It just sucks that so many people turn their backs on me so often.  Why am I so easy to leave behind?  It just sucks.  People suck.

I'm stressed about the job and the medical bills.  I sent out my application for financial assistance to the hospital today, so I hope they approve it.  They want a lot of information that I can't really provide, like 12 months of pay stubs.  All of my stuff is in my friend's storage unit a thousand miles away.  I sent them what I could.  I've called my counselor at the hospital twice and he has not returned my calls.  That freaks me out a little.  My one week stay in the hospital, two ER visits, and three surgeries are going to be somewhere near $100,000, according to my counselor.  I haven't received most of the bills yet. 

My sister isn't doing so well these days.  I picked her up and helped her do some errands and shopping today.  She smelled so bad.  She hasn't showered in probably a week, at least.  She believes there are worms living on her head and has been putting diaper rash cream in her hair.  I did my best to try to convince her to shower.  She has been drinking every single night since I moved up here.  It's really worrying me.  She has mentioned that she's had some homicidal thoughts lately and that freaks me out beyond belief.  I do not know what to do for her.  I know she'll never act on those thoughts.  She's very docile and reserved, but it's scary to know that she's been having those thoughts.  She thinks people are out to get her all the time.  Everything is some sort of sinister conspiracy.

I have not been feeling all that well physically.  I've been waking up in the middle of the night really nauseous.  Last night I woke up throwing up.  There was no warning at all.  I suddenly sat up at like three in the morning and threw up all over my lap and bed.  I had to clean it up, strip the air mattress and wash my sheets in the middle of the night.  It was awful.  The other night I felt very close to throwing up.  I'm eating pretty healthy.  Other than the grilled cheese I had in the hospital, and a couple croissants here and there, everything I've eaten has been vegan since I started staying with my vegan friends.  And I am not eating that much fat either.  Once I ate a veggie sandwich with pesto on it and felt so sick for like two days, so I'm trying my best to avoid super fatty foods.  However, I did eat a tiny bit of peanut butter with jelly the other day and was just fine.  Ugh.  It's so frustrating.  I feel so hungry at times, but I'm really afraid to eat.  I end up avoiding food as long as possible and then feeling so ravenous by the time I do eat, that I eat until I'm stuffed.  This, I am sure, isn't helping my problem.  I think I'm feeling so sick at night from acid reflux or something.  I've never had acid reflux before.  I've never even had heartburn before, so I'm really just guessing.  It's just a different kind of acidic nausea feeling.  I don't know who to call about this because I still don't have medical insurance and I don't have a doctor.  I guess I could call the surgeon.  I hope someone hires me and I'm able to get medical coverage soon.  There really isn't much in terms of free health clinics out here.