Friday, February 8, 2013

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I am a complete fuck up.  I mean it.  I screw up everything.  I have two interviews next week, but I doubt I will get either job.  I really do.  What am I doing in this city?  It's just been this fantasy land for my most of my adult life.  I never dreamed I'd be homeless here, but now that I face the possibility of sleeping in my car again, I'm wanting to go back to Arizona where it's warm and I know people.  I don't want to even think about a shelter.  I don't think I'd ever be able to sleep in one ever again. Maybe they will just let me shower there.  Fuck.  What is the point of my existence?  I mean really????