Sunday, January 13, 2013

Count down...


In two weeks I will not have a place to live.  I don't have an income.  I can apply for disability but that takes a while, I've heard.  I no longer have health insurance which means no more therapy.  No. Dr. K.  No more meds.  No surgery, although, I'm feeling okay on that end right now. 

I don't even know what I'm going to do with my animals.  I can't lose them.  Really.  I just can't.  They are my family.  I've lost everything in my life over and over again.  I can't lose them too.  They were supposed to be the only things in life no one could take away from me...

I've got nothing but tears today.  It's been so hard for me to get up.  The minute I landed yesterday I felt whatever these feelings are that I'm feeling today.  I can't even describe it.  My flight back wasn't so much fun because I had a bad cold last week and change in altitude made my ears hurt badly.  I was worried my ear drums would burst or something while in the air.  The pain was pretty intense, and it still hasn't gone away yet.  The crying probably doesn't help.

I'm frustrated.  I'm sad.  I'm scared.  I don't know what to do.  Not knowing where I will live is so unbelievably hard for me.  It's a feeling that is way too familiar and it's one I can't seem to escape.  I just want a home.  When will I be able to stop searching for one?  When?