Sunday, July 29, 2012

I just can't do it anymore

My best friend of six years has unfriended me and blocked me from contacting her and I really don't even understand what I did.  Usually I know that I've fucked up.  I know I'm not tolerable but she got upset that I wasn't letting her in so I let her in and she decided to leave me.  6 years and an hour of seeing the real me is all it takes to leave.

I'm a fucked up human being that no one loves.  No one wants.  No one sticks around.  I'm a fucking piece of shit.

I have no one in life.  No one.  My relationship with my gf is over.  No one sticks around.  No one wants to be in my life once they know the truth.  No one loves me when it really matters.  When I need it the most.

I can't do this anymore.  I really can't.  I can't handle it anymore.  I said I was waiting for the next really bad thing to happen and look!

This just isn't worth it anymore.  I'm not worth it.  Life isn't worth it.  I can't fucking do it anymore.  Just let me die.  I'm dying anyway.  I'm dead inside anyway.  It's all I think about anyway.  I'm not fixable.  No amount of therapy or drugs or anything is going to change me or my life.  I just want it to be over.