Why are people are relationships so hard for me? Every relationship I've ever had has had a time clock on it. There is always a count down until I fuck everything up.
I've been in bed crying and sleeping on and off all day today. I wish I could blame it on PMS or something but I can't. Unfortunately, I'm just kinda nuts. I'm sure it doesn't help that I haven't eaten today. My girlfriend hesitated and had a kind of shitty thing to say when I asked if I could eat some groceries she just bought. That hesitation and shitty comment is enough for me to go buy my own groceries from now on. I'm also really sad thinking about the people who probably sent me the kiddy porn. I know it's kind of stupid that I feel this way since I haven't seen them since I was 12.
So I've been hiding in bed all day, sleeping on and off, trying to escape myself.