Sunday, March 18, 2012


The drive to Tucson went pretty smoothly.  I was pretty successful at holding in the sobbing until I could get to some place alone, like the bathroom at IHOP, the bathroom at a gas station, the bathroom at my friend's house.  I've cried a lot, but been pretty successful at not getting caught.  I was not able to sleep last night, so it's nice that I can blame my puffy eyes on my lack of sleep. 

Actual Tucsonans
I totally forgot that today was St Patrick's day.  I also forgot that Tucson, for some really weird reason, is REALLY into this holiday.  All the things I wanted to do today were kind of killed by the beer soaked green mob.  I remember having a lot of fun with this holiday as a kid.  When I was 17 I dyed my hair green (the wash out kind) with purple tips (even went to work at Blockbuster that way) because I knew it would get me into the bar with my really horrible fake ID.  I don't know why Tucson is so into the Irish.  I should look that up.

I drove to Tucson with a really good friend.  I babbled the whole way like I do when I haven't slept.  I pretty much never finish a story because I just feel this anxious need to fill the silence when I am really stressed and tired.  We laughed a lot.  I cried a little, she either didn't notice or pretended not to.  We listened to weird music and came up with crazy photo ideas because Stacey's mom wanted her to bring pepper spray because she thinks Arizona is the scary wild wild west with crazy cowboys and murderers.  I decided that we're gonna dress up a Saguaro cactus with a mask, some chaps, and a fake gun and have Stacey pose like she's spraying it with Mace.  We'll send a few of the pics to her mom, to show her that she's being safe around the prickly characters.  

We went to one of my favorite places ever for dinner.  It's a little bakery sandwich shop called Beyond Bread.  It's like this magical carb planet with amazing breads and just as yummy things for the middle.  I always get this sandwich called "Annie's Addiction," which is a vegan sandwich with AMAZING bread, hummus, sprouts, cucumbers, some other stuff.  This time I got it with Turkey just to make the miniature version of my doctor that resides in my head happy.  My name is not Annie, but I'm definitely addicted.

After dinner, we pretty much just hung out with my friend, Joanna and her precocious 4 year old, Aubrey ("my niece").  This kid is so much fun.  I like to rough house.  She likes to rough house.  A lot of fun.  We played with her Barbies and other random toys she kept bringing out.  When the little one wasn't really paying attention, Barbie and her friend, Barbie, became "12 Step Barbies" and attended meetings and earned chips.  I love this kid.  I sewed her this little tiny quilt when she was 2 months old.  It was the first thing I ever sewed and it wasn't really all that well made, but it has become her security blanket.  She cannot sleep without it.  It's so worn out.  It's so holey and faded.  The fabric I used was pink with a bunch of little frogs on it.  She calls it her "Froggy."  I have to admit that seeing something I made so loved to death makes me feel pretty good. 

I was supposed to bring Zealie this weekend to spread her ashes in special places, but it's going to be raining and I didn't want to get her ashes wet before they got to spread around.

Right now I am feeling kind of really chapped from Wind Burn.  I forgot how windy Tucson is.  I'm okay.  A little numb.  I'm really sad.  I'm still really scared.  I'm in pain on and off.  It was pretty intense when I passed a little exit off the freeway that led to a tiny little town of hell in the middle of the desert.  I had to fight the urge to take a detour and visit Maggie and Tim's old house again.  If I had taken this trip alone, I probably would have.  I also probably would have ingested a lot of chemicals from a glass as well as a mirror.

Here are some pictures so far:

My favorite 4 year old girl
Little miss smart alec.  Tiny snarky munchkin.  My kind of girl.

The name makes everyone giggle.  I used to get all of my violin strings and rosin here.  Now it's closed.  Tucson used be a community that thrived on small, local businesses.  Now, most of my favorite little shops are dead or dying.  So sad. 

Saw this on the road today.  I think this guy might be my Soul Mate. 

Buy one Get one?  Do I get to take the seniors home?
Seven is a very frightened little bottle opener.  (What happens when you are totally bored and trying to walk around because you have a really sore ass from sitting in the car.)
Also, I never posted the photos of my hair like I said I would.  I hate photos.  It's also pretty hard to get a photo of your back, so it doesn't show the entire length of my hair. 
Not in love with the pics, but they show the cut. 13 inches off  :-)