Monday, March 5, 2012
productive confidence and confusing tears
I was feeling really good about everything today. Calm, stable, confident. I have been really productive today. I didn't dwell on everything that's happening with the photos at all. I was totally fine, a little cheerful even. I zipped around town in my Honda, running errands, going to appointments, enjoying the really nice day. It was so nice outside today. Not hot, not cold. Perfect. I did some chores, organizing, went to the post office. I even made plans to cut my hair to donate to Locks of Love. I haven't cut my hair in quite a while, and it's gotten really long. The longest layers in my hair nearly touch the small of my back. That's too long, so it's time to give it away. The only concern I have is my hair is really thick, unevenly wavy, and I have a cowlick on the right side of my forehead, so it's kind of hard to find someone who knows how to cut my hair correctly, especially with less forgiving shorter styles (shoulder length). I was productive today and got so much done and was feeling really good about that.
I still haven't opened my computer. I'm really scared that the photos are back on it. It's been a while since I've felt this functional and I am afraid that having the photos on my computer will ruin all of it. I'm still feeling calm. Just kind of sad and withdrawn, and confused.