Monday, February 13, 2012

Necklaces, Azaleas and hospitals

Someone very sweet sent me this in the mail:

I don't deserve it, but thank you very much.  I love it. 

A plant nursery was having a huge sale of Azaleas this week.  I bought the biggest one there.

I miss her very much.  So very freaking much.  My thoughts and suicidal urges have been pretty intense since I got those photos in January.  Maybe it's time for the hospital, but I really don't want to go to the hospital.  I also can't go today or tomorrow.  How romantic would that be?  Happy Valentines day.  I'm going to the mental hospital again.  I don't really want to die, but I just don't know how to keep doing this.  My life is one huge painful event after the other.  There are good things sprinkled on top of the bad, but the bad is so consuming that it's hard to focus on anything else.