Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Dear blog world

That naively thinks I'm this innocent little victim in life....I'm a fucking piece of garbage.  That's all.  Not the garbage that can be recycled.  Not the garbage that decomposes and becomes something beautiful.  No...I am the kind of garbage that polutes our air and oceans and kills the poor creatures that decide to put it in their lives and bodies.  Apparently I'm the kind of garbage that sits in public parks, drinking vodka out of a water.bottle and slits her skin and watches it bubble and steadily drip on the sand.  don't worry I'm not far from home....not gonna drive.  I'm not that much of an asshole.  I don't need to kill anyone else in my young life. I think killing my baby sistter was enough.  
I'm sitting here watching and listening to my blood hit dirt, hoping someone bothers me so I can physically fight them.  Yep.  That's me.  Sweet little innocent Campbell... No wonder I have few friends and no family.  No wonder I can give someone a baby and they still take off.  No wonder not one family wanted me as a kid.  No fucking wonder people wanted to kill me.  No wonder no one ever stays in mhy life. Jesus, who the fuck would.want to???? I'm a waste of fucking precious oxygen.  I'm a waste of this crappy vodka I'm pouring down my mouth, in a plastic bottle that will pollute the earth when I'm done.  I'm just a fucking piece of garbage that should have died a loooooooooong time ago.  I'm sure you'd agree if you knew me.

Please god.....please make it stop.  Please god or whoever I can't anymore. Please end it soon, however you bsee fit, fast and painless, slow and severly painful. I don't care as long as it ends soon. If any of u think you can save me, please don't try. I'm not worth it. I will suck you dry. I am an emotional vampire. I am filth. I am shit. I am not worth whatever effort you have. I am not worth your time and I never will be. The only thing I can hope for are freak accidents or for.my body to decide its had enoght too. God knows my brain is tired.