Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Therapy, Dr. Patrick, brains, and drawings

I wanted to write about my therapy session with CT today but for some reason I'm having a hard time transcribing things correctly.  I'll write it down and then remember that I actually said something else first.  I can't remember what happened when.  I used to be very good at that.  I'll work on it tomorrow and post it.

I didn't quit my program.  I went Monday and Tuesday and I'm going back tomorrow.  Dr. Patrick is still leaving and he had a special session for me last week to talk about it.  Basically he sat there and listened to how I feel and let me tell him that he sucks and that he should have assigned me to another doctor if he was leaving.  I'm tired of being bounced around doctors, therapists, social workers.

tiny pic of my brain

I drew an abstract colorful ink drawing of a brain today.  I was thinking about my brain and all the things I've been reading that say people like me have damaged brains.  My program gave me a book to read on trauma and it talks about the amygdala and hippocampus and how they can be damaged.  I have brain damage apparently so I drew the outline of a brain.  It was going to be a dark drawing about my screwed up brain but instead I put a bunch of abstract designs in it.  It's not a normal brain, but it's a colorful one!  I'm thinking about giving it to Dr. Patrick because he's kind of a brain doctor in a way.  I feel kind of weird about it, like I'm a five year old drawing pictures for my teacher or something.  I give people in my life drawings as gifts all the time, but only people that ask for them.  I'm worried he'll read into it, which he probably will because it's his job to analyze everything.  Would it be weird to give my psychiatrist a drawing of a brain?