Thursday, March 3, 2011

What?

I seriously do not understand life, people, relationships-- basically the fucking world.  I just don't get it.  I am beyond lost right now.  So my therapist isn't dumping me anymore.  I wrote her a really long email telling her how I feel about her and the whole situation and then I told her to fuck off.  Literally.  Now she wants to stick around.  What?  So all I have to do to keep people around is tell them to fuck off?  Really?  I just don't get it.  If that's the case I have seriously been living my life the wrong way.  I'm just going to live my life the way I feel like it and stop worrying about other people's opinions and feelings.  I'm going to try the things I've always wanted to try and do the things I want to do, consequences be damned.  I don't care what happens anymore, I really don't.  I don't know what I want with therapy anymore.  I don't know if I want her to be my therapist anymore.  It feels like everything is ruined.  I really just don't get it and I don't trust her motives for staying.