Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I no longer have a psychiatrist

I'm laying in bed thinking about my essential item and how much I want more when my phone rings.  I picked it up.

Her:  "Hello, can I speak to Campbell?"
Me:  "This is she."
Her:  "Hi this is Dr. M"
Me:  "um, Hi."
Her:  "Did you know you have an appointment right now?"
Me:  "um, I do?  It's tomorrow at 11:45."
Her:  "No, it's right now. Do you have a card?  You know you are responsible to pay for this appointment right?"  $100.
Me:  "What, why?"
Her:  "Did you make an appointment on the phone?"
Me:  "I did but she said the soonest available was going to be the day I already had scheduled and then she called me a few days later to let me know that Tuesday was available, and I said one day is not a big deal."
Her:  "Well she scheduled you for today. You're going to have to take it up with her.  Can you come in on Thursday at 12:45?"

We said our goodbyes and hung up the phone. 

I have been seeing Dr. M for  almost two years and have never ONCE missed an appointment or showed up late.  Not once.  I think it's crap that I am financially responsible for a miscommunication so I will not be going back to Dr. M.  I called her, knowing she wouldn't be in the office anymore and said:  "Hi Dr. M, this is Campbell.  I am calling to cancel my appointment we just made for this Thursday because I have never been late or missed an appointment and it's not fair that you are holding me responsible for a mix-up.  Thanks.  Bye."  Even if she calls me back and says forget about the charge, I won't.  Now it's weird.  Now I am extremely upset.  I feel like I'm being punished for something I didn't do.  I'm so tired of my life.  I realize most of you will think that I am overreacting but I don't care.  It's not fair and now I don't feel comfortable with my doctor anymore. 

I don't know what to do anymore.  My only hope of survival was based on medication and therapy.  I have to find a new doctor and my work schedule will soon be insane.  I will be working ten hour days until the summer so that leaves very little time for finding a new doctor.  I don't know what to do and I'm kind of panicking.


About half an hour later my doctor called and said, "Hi this is Dr. M.  I got your message and if you say it's a misunderstanding I believe you and I will absolutely not charge you for that appointment.  I'd hate for you to feel abandoned over a misunderstanding.  Please call me back and let me know if you still want to come on Thursday."

I hate myself.  I really freaking hate myself.  Because of this I took a super long shower, cut up my arm, and now I am drunk before 5pm.  What is wrong with me????