Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Another email from my mother

Removed image for privacy

She loved my siblings.  You can see it in this photo.  She loved them so much, but not me.  She hated me and told me there was something wrong with me.  WHY?  I don't understand.  I really don't.  All I have ever wanted was for someone to love me, my bio mother especially. I just don't understand.  Why send me emails like this telling me to stay out of her life when she's the one who won't stay out of mine?  Why does my own mother hate me so much?  How can someone who barely knows me hate me so much?  If the people who are supposed to love me in life hate me this much, how can anyone else tolerate me?  She's hated me since the day I was born and told me so until the day CPS kept me for good.  What the hell is wrong with me that the person who created me hates me enough to sends me stuff like this?  I'm not supposed to be here.  There is something extremely wrong with me.  God, I can't do this anymore.  It's too freaking hard.

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I alredy got my christmas wish this year.  ali and i am very happy you aint in are lives.  we deadicate this to you.

MOM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnRNw4wtZ0g&feature=player_embedded#!

Lyrics to Go Die :
Everything I thought was true, turned into a lie
After all the time we spent, what is there to pry

This is my dawning day the old will change, with haste

Will you let our future fade away?
Lay beside the moonlit ocean, gazing into the sky
Then i cried up through the blackness, waiting for our reply
Its been so long since I saw you, but its been the time of my life
Now that its all over, I want you to go die
die

Reflecting on our memories, I never felt at peace

Why would I be with you, when you are never pleased

This is my dawning day the old will change, with haste

Will you let our future fade away?
Lay beside the moonlit ocean, gazing into the sky
Then i cried up through the blackness, waiting for our reply
Its been so long since I saw you, but its been the time of my life
Now that its all over, I want you to go die
die
Go die, die

Can you feel me scream out loud, you left me out to dry


Can you feel me scream out loud, you left me out to dry

Whisper in the ear of yours
dont try to save the night

Its been so long since I sensed you

And its been the time of my life
Now that its all over, I want you to go die
Or stay out of my life